Don’t Look Now, but I Think it Just Moved: Welcome to the Wax Museum, Part 2

Back in October, I wrote in “Don’t Look Now, but I Think it Just Moved: Welcome to the Wax Museum about the report that Madame Tussauds was in the process of completing a wax-work of none other than Colin Firth, and the fierce internal dialogue that raged in my brain over this news, given my irrational fear of wax-works in general: “I’m terrified of wax-works.”
“But it’s Colin Firth. You’ve loved his work for years. You should be thrilled he’s being given such an honor…immortalized in effigy forever.”
“But they look so uncanny. You expect they’re going to move, or become suddenly animated in the manner of a zombie and go off on a brain-eating rampage in the dead of night.”
“OH well, if you can’t get over your fears, take comfort in the fact that you won’t ever have to look at it. One of the few benefits of being blind.”

At the time, the statue was unfinished, and so to avoid traumatic dreams about being set upon in the dead of night by a headless zombie in Mark Darcy’s reindeer jumper, I mentally shelved the news…until this morning, when The Telegraph reported that Madame Tussauds had unveiled the completed Colin this morning. (Side note: to the writer of the above article, that would be King George VI, not King George IV; inadvertent Roman numeral reversal=historical inaccuracy, just FYI). According to the lovely Livia Firth, wife of Colin, the result is “cool”. I suppose, given that she has the pleasure of viewing the live specimen in all his glory, that she would be the best judge, and if she’s given it her approval, I suppose that ought to be good enough for the rest of us—especially someone who isn’t really in a position to make an assessment of its accuracy and esthetic elegance.

This article includes a few images of wax-and-real Colin respectively for convenient comparison. The idea of “robot real Colin” it suggests is a bit much—even for me, though admittedly I’m now contemplating the benefits of the remote-control operated boyfriend.
Finally, according to a reliable source (translation: a friend with properly functioning eyeballs) they did in fact get the dimples right, so as far as I’m concerned, we’re getting the legitimate, full Firthian effect. Phobia notwithstanding, I almost wish I could actually see it (almost).

Side note: my spell-checker refuses to acknowledge that Firthian is in fact a word. I have seen it used. I have used it myself. It is a legitimate adjective in academic discourse, so note to spell-checker, don’t argue with me about this when my temper has already been tried today by sloppy student errors.
And with that charming thought, I leave you.


  1. Kaitlin said

    I don’t blame you, wax figures are pretty terrifying. In a semi-interesting, unsettling sort of way.

    • poetprodigy7 said

      I heard that Madame Tussauds played a trick with the statue of Robert Downey Jr. once, and placed him in a London train station to see how many passers-by would think it was really him, and apparently lots of people fell for it. That’s the problem, I think–they look so life-like. And I touched a wax-work once. It felt strange; a cross between skin and plastic, and it was just uncomfortable.

  2. breezyk said

    FYI- If you don’t strike while the iron’s hot on that wax C.F… I know another girl who willllllllllllllllllll

    • poetprodigy7 said

      Tempting proposition. I’m not quite so afraid of him as I was a few months ago. I hear he’s positively scrumptious–dimples and all.

  3. […] in teaching media through vampire adaptations. My readers watched as I struggled to overcome my fear of waxworks, contemplated the inevitability of aging and threw a highly successful, Bridget Jones-style birthday […]

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