Platitude, Shmatitude

Project Give Thanks day 7:

“You’ll get over it.”
“It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
“Time heals all wounds.”
“Good things come to those who wait.”
“When the right one comes along, you’ll know.”
“What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.”

Blah, blah, blah. I usually detest platitudes and the people who push them on me when I least want to hear them—especially those relating to love and relationships. It’s far easier to tell someone else that their turn will come when someone is warming your bed than it is when you’re clutching a pillow that still bears the faintest trace of an ex’s cologne and wishing that Mark Darcy would materialize out of the darkness, confess his high regard for your wobbly bits, and proceed to pleasure you until you’ve lost all sensation below the waist.

Having said all of that, today I am thankful that at least some of those clichés, crappy though they might be, hold a grain of truth. I am thankful today for healing. No one knows more than I do about waiting for good things to fall out of the sky into my lap; between the ages of 20 and 27, I went on exactly 3 dates and had (does swift mental calculation) 0 boyfriends. Call it a dry spell if you wish; I’d call it a sex drought of biblical proportions. It would naturally stand to reason that when something did fall into my lap by the grace of God, and, because we’re talking about me and my luck here, it didn’t turn out quite the way I’d expected, I felt gutted, to say the least. As my best friend would say, “It’s like waving a Wanka bar in front of a kid and then not letting him have it.”

I’m not the woman I was eight months ago, or even three months ago; I’ve learned, I’ve grown, I’ve loved, I’ve hurt. I’ve handed my broken heart to God and asked him to refashion it, but I’m not hoping for a more shatter-resistant model, because a heart that can’t brake isn’t a heart at all. I’ve thought, I’ve prayed, I’ve cried, and while I was doing all of that, God was tenderly and quietly filling in the cracks in my heart and healing it. Am I fully healed? Certainly not; am I better than I was a month ago? Undoubtedly. Am I ready to place myself in a situation that makes me emotionally vulnerable again? Not right now, but if you fracture your leg, you don’t go off and try to river dance the moment the cast comes off. Am I hopeful that some day God will bless me with another opportunity to share the love I know is mine to give? Truthfully, I don’t know, but I want to believe that when and if that time comes, God will remind me of everything I’ve been through and of the miracle that, despite it all, I can still love.

What are you thankful for today?

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